Life · Uncategorized

Heartbreak and Happiness

Its been two months since I was dumped, two months since my world was ripped apart, everyday I’ve tried to move on, I get cold reminder of how much you hurt me. Two months of pain and anger and hurt and happiness and laughs. These last two months, I’ve found myself, I’ve found I’m also into woman, I’ve found that I shouldn’t have to settle for one man to have sex with, I found the fun of being single when being on a night out, I’ve found the fun in being with a older man and I’ve also found the fun in being a petty bitch.

you see, even though we’re no longer together, my heart will alway be with you, even though you don’t want it. I’m just so hurt how you can fuck that slut, the one who we used to hang out with together, the one who I basically said you’d be with, either her or the other one. I know it’s not worth the hasstle and consequences from sending mean texts or putting something stupid on Facebook, but I’m hurt, I’m angry and just disappointed in you. It’s funny how you know all about my life now, even though none of you are on my Facebook…hmm strange that. As for saying what you see my post of Facebook, one I had a screenshot sent me by someone who seen that you’re new bozz eyed bitch had cropped me outta pictures..that’s petty. She was obviously offended at how beautiful I am and realises how much of a downgrade she would be. Lol. So I did the mature thing and blocked all your faces out… pretty much same thing ain’t it? Then you got your “friend” with the most slug like eyebrows you’ve ever seen to put my face in a cockroach, lol jokes on you pal, cockroaches are fucking hard animals and have trouble being killed, thanks for the compliment stupid. Hahahha. Oh man. I can’t believe I stooped myself so low, the same level as someone who dyes there hair multi colours, and over draws her eyebrows. Oh and sluggy, your friend who you stick up for talks about you behind your back, thinks your crazy and will most likely end up “fucking a dog” because you love them so much.

right, back to my heartbreak. You said you left me because we have nothing in common any more, two months later you’re basically with someone that’s the opposite of you. You wanted to go rock climbing and sky diving and adventure, yet your fucking someone who said her perfect holiday was sat by a pool drinking cocktails, which you described to me as your worst holiday. You’re a fucker, a mean cunt, you play with people. You turned me into this cold bitch I am today, you lied to me, I said from day one, you’ll be with one of my two friends, you said “you’re so shallow if you think like that.” Well ducky, two months later, where are you? In a relationship with one of them.

Im slowly starting to find happiness in life, I never want to fall in love again, I’ve guarded my heart and I’m ready to get back out into the world of sex. It’s what I’m using to numb the pain of abandonment.

you see broken hearts are a nightmare. You stay in bed because you can’t face another day going by without him. You hug one of his t-shirts he left at yours, because it still smells like him, you look on his social media accounts to see if he’s feeling the same as you, you see a picture of him, with your best friend, there on a plane to Rome. Your heart sinks and that little bit of closure you gain, has gone. You eventually change out you PJs into some normal clothes, and swap the tub of ice cream for a proper meal, you join a online dating app, you stop listening to sad songs on Apple Music, you watch funny films instead of romantic. You have a first date and try everything to avoid bringing him up, you slip, you mention his name, you feel sick, but still the date goes well. You start going out with friends, and when you get hit on in a bar you feel good and happy, the first kiss happens that’s not him, it’s weird, a good weird. The first time you have sex with someone that’s not him, it’s weird, like a great weird, he didn’t like it when I used to bite or dig my nails in his back, this new guy does. Life’s been good a few months had passed, your friend sends you a screenshot….Anthony Mason is in a relationship with Jade Ashley. My mind starts spinning, my heart drops, what a wanker. I told him to be honest and he swore he only saw them as friends, and he’s with one of them. I saw red, my first instint was to whatsapp him a bunch of hate, but no I just said “hope you’ll be as happy as me” and then sent him a screen grab of the words in the last message he sent “I only see jade and emma as friends, to think any different is shallow.” I get a message back 30 seconds later, “why you messaging me for? Don’t you have a boyfriend?” Again the wonderful ant avoiding all conversations…. I was seething, I felt cheated, I felt wronged. Am I back to square one? Where I’m struggling to get outta bed? Nope I’m happy, happy everyone can now see how much a dick he is and for her, swear to god, if anyone I know, including myself, sees her…Jesus better help her. Some truth will come out.

 

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