Life · Uncategorized

Ex’s and Oh’s

So, let me tell you. Toyota Wanker got back in contact with me. He wants me back, he wants to marry me and he’s not stopped thinking about me, everyday, for three years. I love him. I always have. I always will. He hurt me.

All I wanted was to hear what he told me this weekend. He told me that he’s gonna get me back and never let me go again. I’m falling hard and fast and I can’t stop. Now we broke up because he left to get a job in Wales and focas on himself. My heart had broken. It took months to get over him. Months. When I finally did I blocked and deleted him from all my social media and I just carried on with life, still everyday that passed I wondered what could of been.

My phone buzzed, a message from a unrecognised number appeared. ‘Hey, I’ve been wanting to message you for a while. I want to tell you I’m a better man, everyday is filled with regret about what I did to you.’ I felt sick, I knew it was him straight away. The feelings never went away. I suppose now I should admit something, when I was in my ‘just seeing’ stage of my ex (the one who’s seeing that fuck ugly giant) I may have spent a night with him. Don’t count as cheating if your not actually a couple. You see he has this hold on me, that makes me go weak when he’s near. I message him back and we talk all day and all night. He told me so much stuff I wanted to hear, that he shoulda moved me up to Wales to be with him, that he shoulda married me, that we should start a life together. He classed me as ‘the one that got away’ that’s what I class him as. I spent months teaching myself to hate him. Hate him for leaving me. For breaking my heart. I love him. I really do.

Im so torn. Do I see how things go? Do I just nip it in the bud? Do I go and run off to Wales and marry him? Now I’ve always said that if I was to fall in love, and it be the one, the main one where you’re gonna marry, that when you listen to 90s rnb love songs, they make sense and today he sent me a link to a song expressing how he feels, ‘on bended knee ‘ Boysz II Men. He’s the one. I know it. I hope it. I want this to work so bad, he makes me smile and makes me happy. He told me how he’s beaten his depression, and has done some terriable things, for example, cheating and lying on his ex.. and he feels guilty. I told him all the bad things I’ve done. We’re starting a fresh. Re learning one an other. The only thing I know for certain is I love him and he loves me.

Watch this space.

Tay x

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